The Lunar Lancer: Trove's most Conservative Class

R4PG Game Store Date: Sep/20/15 01:56:10 Views: 102

Disclaimer: This is a good, old British-style satire, so if I sound a little angry, just ignore it.

 

OK, if I've got to be completely honest here, I hate the class. Now, why do I hate the class, that's a matter of many things. Let's get this straight, I haven't got a problem with the class regarding skills. Well, there's a slight overstatement considering that everyone finds his M2 skill to be bloody useless, so there's that. But, mostly this isn't about skills, this is about just how conservative this class is, to the point where it just doesn't make any sense.

 

First off, it a bloody fox. Fine, you know what, I can deal with that. Well, actually I can tolerate that... No wait,I can live with that as long as I pretend the Lunar Lancer doesn't exist. Problem is , it does. I mean, it's everywhere now, because everyone is trying to rat race to level 20 and radiant gear and all that. You're sitting there, in a dungeon, minding your own business and then xXTwatXx shows up and drops his giant spear out of the sky, except it's not the sky it's the ceiling.

 

Why does this bother me, that being the fact that it's a fox. Well, first of all, I kind of wanted my Lancer to be a human, but fine. I just don't really see what a fox has to do with the whole "theme." I mean, the Lancer has a sort of samurai-like disposition, so that means... Japan? And if we're talking Japan, then we can look at the kitsune spirit as the reason they made the class a fox. But that's a rather tedious and elaborate linkage, and probably, it was more like some dev says to his mate, "Hey, check this out. I made it a fox," and then his mate says, "That's brilliant. Yeah, let's make that a thing." And that's how we got a fox. 

 

I mean, why a bloody fox?! The way this class plays, it's kind of barbaric. Your attacks are pretty basic, and then you go and transform into this massive brute, only to make loud stomping noises as you run around at an increased speed. You'd think a fox would be agile, and I don't think a useless grapple cuts it. It's hunched over like the Freak of Notre Dame and walks like it's tiptoeing, reminding me of this guy:

 

The problem is, it is a fox, and it will always be a fox no matter how hard you try. If you've taken it into the barbershop you already know that you can't change anything but the hair and eyes. It's oppressive. I mean, it's like North Korea. You don't get to decide what your face looks like, the government --, or in this case, Trion -- decides what your face looks like. And it's always bloody orange. You put on a costume, your face is orange and your tail is black. It's like some sort of inter-species abomination. And then, you go into your ultimate mode, and your tail is orange again. I'm quite certain that on the promotional art it's tail was white, as if it was clad in armor. All this anti-customization propaganda, it aggravates me.

 

And then you put on a mask or a helmet, and you got this snout sticking out. Your snout literally just rips through solid steel to breathe from under your helmet, and he's got this cheeky looking face that makes him look more like a squirrel or a chipmunk rather than a fox. It looks unprofessional on Trion's part, as if they just didn't bother with this issue because they were lazy. It's probably just an oversight, so I hope they do something about it, but honestly, just look at how much attention they've paid towards fixing Boomeranger. And what does that say for the rest of what I mentioned? 

 

Too long, didn't read: Trove released the Lunar Lancer with so little customization and so inconsistent a demeanor that it's often very aggravating and nonsensical.

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